I think my ______ has Alzheimer’s! Now what?

written by Laura Bramly

More and more people are coming forward to say that one of their family members or friends may be showing signs of memory loss. I get this question all the time: What do I do now? Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

There are so many diseases in the world, some easy to diagnose and some more difficult, but everyone knows that the first stop is the doctor. With memory loss, it’s different. For some reason (probably due to the stigma of losing memory) no one knows where to turn or what to do next. Here are three steps that you can take with your loved one who may be showing signs of memory loss: Diagnosis. Understand. Live.

One proviso: Alzheimer’s disease is a type of dementia. There are some 70 or more types of dementia, with Alzheimer’s being the most prevalent, along with Vascular Dementia (caused by a stroke) and Lewy Body Dementia. People can have two or more types of dementia at one time. Even when considering Alzheimer’s alone, no two people with Alzheimer’s will present exactly the same symptoms or maintain the same capabilities. Each person is different. So, even though there are three steps to take with a person who may have dementia, the exact path that each person takes will differ.

Step One: Diagnosis

Memory loss should be treated like any other illness for which a diagnosis can mean the difference between suffering in silence and receiving a treatment that can have a real impact. Memory loss is not a direct ticket to the nursing home, as it can result from such treatable medical conditions as depression and anxiety disorders, thyroid disease, B12 deficiency, elevated homocysteine levels, dehydration, infection, brain tumor and others.

If possible, see a doctor who is a neurologist, or who specializes in geriatrics (if the person experiencing memory loss is a senior). If you see your primary care physician, make sure that you go to your appointment well-armed with information about diagnosing the cause of memory loss. If the only test your loved one receives is a memory test, ask for further testing. Such conditions as brain tumors can not be diagnosed by a memory test! Most importantly, ensure that you feel comfortable conversing with the doctor, that you don’t feel as if you are getting brushed off, and that you are receiving thoughtful and knowledgeable answers. If you don’t feel this, find another doctor.

Step Two: Understand

If the diagnosis for memory loss is Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, then it’s time to understand how to slow the progression and how the disease may impact the rest of the person’s life. Talk to the doctor about drugs that are available to slow the progression of the disease. Put together a program of exercise, healthy eating, brain activity and socialization. Studies have shown that all of these factors can contribute to slowing the progression of the disease.

It’s also time to understand how the disease may unfold and affect the person with dementia over the years (again, understanding that no two people have the same experience with dementia). For example, the early stage of dementia is a good time to get financial affairs in order and determine what care options are available so that a plan can be implemented “when the time comes.” Now is the time to have thoughtful discussions with family and friends about what the future may bring, so that family members are not forced into making reactive and upsetting decisions about these important issues. It’s also a nice time to put together family history scrapbooks, make videos, reconnect with long lost family and friends.

Step Three: Live!

Dementia is not a death sentence. Well, OK, it can be. We will all die sometime, but people with dementia know more or less when they will die and what it might look like. So, in the years that are left, it’s time to live. Yes, driving will become unworkable at some point. People with early-onset dementia may lose their jobs. Activities that were once easy, requiring no thought, may become more difficult or indeed, impossible. However, that does NOT mean that a person with dementia must resign themselves to a life of watching the TV alone in their house with a caregiver, or to mindless activity in a nursing home. In fact, don’t, just DON’T!

While it’s hard enough for people without a life-threatening disease to find purpose in life, many people with dementia find new purpose in their lives when they know life is limited. It’s time to ask oneself: How am I going to use these last years of my life so that I can have the greatest impact on my family, my community, my country, my world? People with dementia are in demand as bloggers and speakers, so that they can pass along their experiences and recommendations to a public hungry for more information about dementia. There is no one who can comfort a newly-diagnosed person more than a person who already has the disease and who can pass along reassurances and counsel. A person with dementia might also find new purpose in volunteering for other causes, or in travel, or in taking up a new hobby. Anything one can do to keep the brain and body active is essential to slowing the progression of the disease, even when one reaches the later stages of the disease.

The person with dementia and their family may find that many of their friends stop calling to invite them out; dementia still has a terrible and unfounded stigma that makes even “good” friends reluctant to maintain former relationships. Through your local Alzheimer’s Association support groups or through your faith community or senior’s centre, find other families dealing with the disease and with whom a social group could be formed. Just because a person has dementia doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy going out for a beer on Friday night!

I welcome comments and emails to laura@eldercareread.com

Writter’s Bio:

Laura Bramly is a communicative consultant specializing in education programs about dementia. She is author of ElderCareRead Life Scenes 1, a book for people with moderate to advanced dementia to read and enjoy (www.eldercareread.com). Laura’s mother passed away from vascular dementia in 2008.

Why ‘Senior’ is NOT a Bad Word

All throughout their lives, children want one thing – to be a “big kid”. They would give anything to be able to choose their own bedtime, cross the street by themselves, or select their own diet. Then, once these goals have been accomplished, kids cannot wait to become a “teenager”, and dive into its associated benefits – a driver’s license, and the thrill of first entering high school. After this, we all look forward to moving away from home, getting a full-time job, and entering the “real world”. Starting a family is a common desire following this. Why is it, that all throughout life we as humans crave “growing up”, but as soon as we hit a certain dreaded age, we loath being referred to as “senior citizens”?

There is a huge amount of stigma associated with aging. The media takes every opportunity they can to point fingers at the once “young-and-beautiful” stars who have become too wrinkly for Hollywood. To be honest, the physical signs of aging should not be fought. Sagging skin adds character, and white hair is saved only for the wise. A 2008 New York Times article entitled “Whatever You Do, Call It Work”, stated that many Americans are becoming reluctant to call themselves retirees. However, it can be argued that individuals work for years of their life to be able to enjoy not having a job, when they have finally saved up enough money to sustain themselves without a steady income. Retirement marks a time in one’s life where he or she can reap the benefits of a full-time holiday. It is a time during which citizens can enjoy various activities, travel to interesting locations, and of course – realize that for once in your life, you will not need a resume, have to wake up a certain hour, or report to that boss who is actually younger than you because of their “modern” approach.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/business/retirement/21social.html?_r=4&hp&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

Calling yourself a “senior” should not be something shameful. Yes, it may mean you look older, have slower reflexes, and an array of potential medical issues associated with aging. But it also means that you have paid your dues – you have worked hard through your life to enjoy an extended long-weekend. It means that you have years of experience and wisdom that young people should be scared to question. Just as teenagers are stereotyped to be reckless, irresponsible, and risky, and toddlers are commonly accused of being mischievous and sneaky, being in the senior age group has its associated stereotypical behaviour and characteristics. It is very important to understand though, that these stereotypes hardly ever apply to every single senior citizen, and are commonly blown out of proportion. C’mon now, not all of the elderly set their cruise control on 40km/h, and BINGO may be popular, but seniors have other fun and interesting hobbies as well.

Somewhere along the lines the term “senior” became associated with a negative connotation. This term is commonly linked to someone who is higher up in a hierarchy, someone with more knowledge than his or her subordinates, or someone who has worked their way up to earn this title. Going to senior kindergarten is the first step to what seems like much bigger and better things at the time – grade school. A senior in high school is the most respected; they are big fish in a small pond. The elders in Church, in Native bands, and across Asian cultures, are looked up to. The term “senior” should be associated with respect, not shame. Society is coming up with new terms to use as synonyms, because of this negativity towards using the word “senior”. For instance, the terms “boomer” and “zoomer”, although completely appropriate, are masking the main issue with being a senior – age. Old age should not be considered a burden, but a gift. Seniors today should learn to embrace this title. Like I said at the start of this piece, becoming a senior citizen is just another stage of the circle of life. It is just another step in “growing up”.